Toileting with Mom has always been a little difficult. Once I finally get her to sit down, she tries to get up immediately. I have discovered if I give her something to fiddle with/concentrate on, she will sit long enough and finally, um, go. My something of choice is this little thing called a Tangle Toy.
Unfortunately, the little sections pull apart. With Mom, the little section goes right in her mouth. This just means that I only use the Tangle Toy in the bathroom. Since I am always right there anyway, it doesn't matter so much. It works like a charm though.
I have been reading the Alz Assoc. caregiver forum off and on for a few years, but never registered or posted. I'll be honest, there seemed to be too much drama, which turned me right off. Maybe that has changed. Anyway, I was reading their new forum regarding the documentaries, and felt compelled to register and defend Nick the cameraman/director. So I'll do the same thing here to set the record straight, in case anyone wondered.
During the stone incident, Nick kept filming. He wasn't intrusive, did not get in the way at all. I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn't even notice him. Afterwards, he apologized, saying he didn't know what to do, try to help or keep filming. He did exactly the right thing. Mom would have struggled even harder if he had tried to do anything. And of course the incident should be shown. It was the perfect example of what can happen, what caregivers have to deal with, how exhausting it can be to always be on the lookout. At the time, there was no question in my mind that it wouldn't end up on the cutting room floor.
Ok, enough of that. Look! The orioles are back!
9 comments:
Annie you did so very well on the little stone incident. I empathized so much with you when you said you should have known better. I said that about a million times myself about all sorts of things.
You are certainly right about the "drama" on the forums. That's a rather kind word for it.
As for the camera person not knowing what to do most of the time I didn't know what to do either. It's not like there is a book about it. And if there were one it would be wrong for any given patient.
You were great in the video.
hi anne....i was introduced to you thru the documentary last week. as a photographer i found your fotos of your moms little vignettes beautiful =). i also cried ....not out of sadness ...but because of your gentle nature & obvious dedication to ensuring your mom's life is filled with good. u are an angel....& there are many in the world who could learn from you. i havent had the time to go thru the blog yet...but i was wondering if you would consider selling the fotos? on etsy? or otherwise? i will go check now if thats an option....but if its not ....let me know & i can assist in getting you set up.....i know i am not alone in wanting to buy one =)
Annie,I agree with you that Nick should not have helped. He was not there for that. I am sure if it was a life or death situation he would have jumped in. You would have handled it the same way if he was not there.
I think what was so lovely about the stone incident was how perfect you were. We all know how easily those incidents can go to More Force Than Intended (as one who answers 911 for a living, I can attest to this -- it isn't wrong, it just happens). People call, panicking. "I pulled the rock out of her mouth! I had to! But now she's bleeding!" And they had to, we know that. But you were so together, handling the situation with grace and strength. And then you broke down later, the sign of a true hero. We admire you.
Why, oh why, do others feel they have the right to judge anyone or anything when they were not in that position at that time. You handled it exactly the way I would have and I would have wept afterwards, too. As for poor Nick? I agree that he would have stepped in if there were something he could have done. Drama does not solve problems. I think I'll avoid those chats.
Annie, I agree with you about the stone incident. Nick did the right thing and your Mom would have struggled more.
The tangle toy is a great idea!
Beautiful pictures as usual!
I agree about the drama on the ALZ forums. I stopped visiting and turned more toward my blog. The only good thing that came out of the forums is that is where I met Betsy. From her I met all of you!
Hi Annie-
As I said before, it was great to see you on the forum, and I will agree with you, there is an awful lot of drama over there. Guess we can't avoid that in any aspect of life, but if you weed thru that you can find some really good discussions. Sorry you felt the need to defend Nick. Kinda funny I never even thought of him stopping to help you. Never crossed my mind. You should not have to defend anything. And like you said, your mom said you better run after you got the stone out (which was so cute) can you imagine what she would have said to Nick :) from Kathy IL
I just saw the documentary and I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you were with your Mom. It seems you have such a patient and gentle spirit.
My great grandmother died of this disease. I came home each weekend from college to give my grandmother a break in the care giving. Like you, we wanted her to be home and no one has ever regretted it. Your mom reminds me so much of her. The smiles, the hand to mouth, the odd hum and the momentary art.
I applaud what you do and how strong you are in doing it. Truly.
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