Have you ever wondered exactly how you have survived this long? I mean, you do something monumentally stupid and just have to tell yourself, you are too stupid to live.
I thought I'd share a few. Just so you can laugh, point at me, and say, hey, at least I'm smarter than she is!
When I was still doing the commute to the Cities, I had to leave in the wee hours of the morning. In winter, this meant it was dark. I always fed the chickens before I left. One below zero January morning, I also stopped to check the llama water tank, to make sure that it hadn't frozen over in the night. The llama water tank is right outside the door to the chicken coop, so it was convenient.
I mentioned it was dark, right? Since I couldn't see, I just dipped my hand in the water. Good, not frozen. With the same hand, I grabbed onto the handle to go into the chicken coop. The metal handle.
I had forgotten the lesson that every Minnesota (or other cold climate) kid learns by the age of oh, six. Must include the kids that didn't have older brothers to teach them any younger, and they had to learn it in school. In the playground, by the flagpole. You know, don't put your tongue on the flagpole. Or, in my case, don't put your wet hand on the metal handle to the chicken coop.
So I stood there like the idiot I was, hand firmly frozen to the handle of the chicken coop door. I could see the headlines, "Minnesota woman freezes to death in tragic chicken coop accident". I tried reaching my other hand into the water tank, (in the hopes that I could unfreeze my hand by putting more warm water on it), but I couldn't reach. I tried breathing on it, hoping that the warm breath would thaw it out. Nope. I mentioned it was below zero, right?
I think I was there a good ten to fifteen minutes, until eventually my breath and body warmth finally unstuck my hand. I may have left some skin there.
Then I had to explain why I was late to work.
I just took this. (Well, when I first tried to post this. Blogger was having problems today. )