Getting Mom in and out of the truck can be a bit of an ordeal. Sometimes she simply doesn't know what to do, and other times she is actively resistant to getting in. It usually involves me picking up her foot and physically lifting it up into the truck. She is usually clutching the door handle, so I have to duck under that arm in order to reach it. If she is in the resisting mood, she is pushing down with all her weight on that foot. Once I get the first foot up, then she is usually resting against the edge of the seat. I have to hold her there, lift the other foot up, then lift her over fully onto the seat. It takes some time, even more if she is resisting.
Yesterday we went to the pharmacy to pick up her pills. When we came out, I discovered that someone had parked very close to her side of the truck, and I couldn't get the door fully open. It made a difficult job even more difficult, trying to work in cramped quarters. I was standing there, Mom's arm around my neck, her sort of half laying there while I'm trying to lift her over on to the seat, when Mom says, very earnestly and in her most helpful tone, "I think you can get in on the other side." Yep, Mom, that's a good idea! I guess she thought I was going to climb over her to get in.
Mom will go for days (weeks) without saying much, and certainly not in full sentences. Then she'll surprise me with a comment like that. It makes me wonder if she just didn't have anything to say? She's in there, but is perfectly content to not say anything unless necessary? Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part.
8 comments:
"It makes me wonder if she just didn't have anything to say?"
makes sense to me.
That's wonderful story, makes me feel quite teary.
I'm glad to hear it makes sense to someone! I just sometimes wonder if we (as a society)don't put too much emphasis on verbal communication. If she can't talk, she isn't there. I think that's a mistake. We ignore (or don't value as highly) other forms of expression, much to our detriment.
Way to go J! They are still in there and those moments when they choose to prove it are priceless. As for whomever chose to park so close, phooey to them! Do you think you can apply for a handicap tag for your Mom?
was it an escalade that was parked all silly?
enjoy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcRWADEln80
I just found you and am enjoying catching up on your archives. I am terribly curious about your peg loom, your scarves are gorgeous to this spinner.
I have cared for many individuals with some sort of dementia over the years. Very difficult at times but a very rewarding position. Difference with myself though is that I went home at night and was not dealing with a loved family member. My heart goes out to you. Be good to yourself and get what 'ME' time you can.
Take care,
Amy
amynm3@gmail.com
I am writing after watching your segment on the Caregiver's segment of The Alz Proj. Your mom's eyes and responses remind me so much of my own; my mom has maintained her verbal skills and she often catches me off balance when she'll start counting things, like cars going by, or the light bulbs in a brake light on the car in front; she loves to read me signs. You are taking such good care of your mom, your farm, your animals. I am totally inspired and grateful that you story was told and you keep this beautiful blog. Thank you so much.
Have gone through the same with my Mom. I wish I could bring the days back when she was mobile. btw..I enjoyed the HBO special and really like your blog. I can tell your mom is very special to you. TC
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